Business cards
by Renneme
Summary: Doubt v2 up! Ross finally learns to stand up for himself... but that's only one of the many plots weaved into this story about acceptance, love, and the pain of leaving your F.r.i.e.n.d.s for your child to move foward.
1. Jennifer

Business Cards: Chapter 1  
  
A/N: This story, even though it's in chapters, it's meant to be a plot equal to one episode of Friends, maybe a super size episode. This is also my first Friends fan fiction, so go easy! Thanks!  
  
Phoebe and Ross were walking down the street to Central Perk, all dressed up in their warmest clothes, as it was the dead of winter and below zero with the wind chill.  
  
They walked into central perk and sat down on the sofa next to Rachel, who was feeding Emma warm milk.  
  
"Oh, thanks for coming, guys," Rachel said looking up, while Ross and Phoebe took off their coats and put them on the back of the sofa.  
  
"No problem, Rach," Phoebe said, gesturing to the counter clerk to come over. "I'll risk a few toes to FROSTBITE cause you need advice or something for EMMA!"  
  
"Oh, Phoebe!" Rachel scolded sarcastically, "You aren't gonna get frostbite. I wanted you all to come over here because." she paused and looked around. "Joey isn't here!"  
  
"Oh, Rachel, Joey isn't useful," Phoebe said, rolling her eyes. "Everyone knows that!"  
  
"Phoebe!" Ross finally joined the conversation. "He may not be the smartest guy in the world, but." he paused. "Never mind. Continue."  
  
"Ok, PHOEBE to the rescue again. Since Monica and Chandler are out of town and Joey isn't here, we'll help."  
  
Rachel continued feeding Emma. "Thanks. Now, what I wanted was some advice on something Emma's been doing. Ross, she's been VOMITING everything I give her! Joey isn't always around, so I need some advice."  
  
"Ooh! This reminds me of a song I wrote!" Phoebe cried, standing up and picking up her guitar. "Here it goes!"  
  
"Does the cat feel nice  
  
Don't cut it with a knife  
  
All it did was vomit on the couch!  
  
The vomit left a mark  
  
It's shaped like a shark  
  
Pretty Kitty!  
  
The kitty is so cute  
  
Don't throw it down the chute  
  
ALL IT DID IS VOMIT ON THE COUCH!  
  
The kitty has blue eyes  
  
It will answer all your cries  
  
Hateful owner!  
  
It says meow  
  
It's like Sonic's little Chao  
  
Pretty Kitty  
  
Forgive it without a slap  
  
Like the time it went crap  
  
On your be-ed.  
  
PREEE-TEEEEE-KI-T-EEEEEEEEEEE!!"  
  
The song would have been embarrassing enough if everyone in the coffee house wasn't staring at them.  
  
"Thank you, thank you!" Phoebe bowed.  
  
Then, a rather ugly-looking waitress walked toward them. "Hi. I'm the new waitress, bus boy, et cetra. I don't care if I say that wrong. Umm, FowBee, or whatever, the guy at the counter said you wanted something."  
  
Phoebe set her guitar down and sat back on the sofa. "It's Pheee-beeee. Phoebe. I want a coffee, black original, PEEZZ," answered Phoebe, obviously not liking this fat worker.  
  
Then the woman saw Ross. She batted her lashes and put on an obviously fake French accent. "Bon jour, guyzee. I'm Jennif- I mean, I'm JohniVoir" (If you're wondering, her name is Jennifer, but she tried to make it more French-sounding by making it John-iv-why-er). "Whood woo vike anyfing, umm.."  
  
"Ross," Ross answered, rolling his eyes. "And sure. Can you get me and Rachel one of those new..oh, what're they called. oh yeah, De Ja Vu Gourmet coffees?"  
  
Jennifer batted her lashes for the hundredths time. "Shhhhure, sweevy." She answered flirtingly. She walked back to the counter to get the coffees.  
  
Phoebe and Rachel leaned toward Ross, fighting back urges to burst out laughing.  
  
Phoebe decided to make fun. "Oooooooooh, she's in LOVE with who? YOU!! Fat bus boy and little Rossy.. I'd hate to see the deformed body of your kids."  
  
Ross scolded. "Hey, nothing's gonna happen between us. No way!"  
  
Jennifer returned with the three coffees. First she gave Phoebe a bonus glare with her coffee, then Rachel (Ross and Phoebe couldn't see if she got a glare, too.) Then she got to Ross.  
  
"Jey, Zweeeteeeee," She said, applying her fake accent again. "Herez ur coffee, Rozzy. Anz, zum. can I have zur phone numzer?"  
  
Joey had walked in right when she gave Ross the coffee, and now he was mouthing, somehow urgently, 'No! Uh uh! NOO!'  
  
Ross was confused; he DEFINITELY didn't want to go out with THIS girl; yet he was such a kindhearted guy and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  
  
So he gave her his phone number. 


	2. What!

Business Cards: Chapter 2  
  
Rachel and Phoebe were paralyzed, staring at Ross.  
  
"WHAT?!" Joey yelled, running over to Ross. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"  
  
Jennifer ignored him. "Heyzas, Rozzy, I'm goin zome nows. Wanna.. come wif me?"  
  
Joey had had enough. "LOOK, FAT GIRL! ROSS, NOT ROZZY, DOESN'T WANNA GO OUT WITH YOU, DEFINITELY DOESN'T WANNA GO HOME WITH A FAT BUS BOY, AND LASTLY, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND, AND I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU TORTURE HIM! HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GIVE YOU HIS PHONE NUMBER, HE'S JUST TOO KIND TO SAY NO! OH, AND P.S, WE CAN TELL YOUR ACCENT IS FAKE! NOW SCRAM!  
  
Jennifer was speechless. Her mouth hung open as she tried to think of a comeback. Finally she ran out the door, got in her SUV, and sped off toward the west hill  
  
"Wow," Ross said, standing up. "I can't believe you could do that! Oh, umm.. I soooo wish I could say no. I mean, everything said no, I mean, she's soooo ugly, soooooooooooooo fat, fake accent, and you could tell she was a total brat that just wants a date."  
  
Joey sat down. "Nothing to it, really. I just figure, if they wanna eat 100 pounds of food a day and be mean, they deserve it."  
  
"I think I'll have to use a different strategy."  
  
"I'll say," Phoeby cut in, and took a sip of coffee. "I mean, you couldn't say no to a brown cow it it asked you to get a drink."  
  
Ross was just about to object when Rachel cut in.  
  
"As much fun as listening to debates is, I still need to find out what to do about Emma"  
  
Joey looked confused. "What?"  
  
Phoebe rolled her eyes. "If you must know, Emma is throwing up everything she's fed while you're out on Broadway and soap opera shootings."  
  
"OOOOOH," Joey said mysteriously. "That explains the weird taste of my relish."  
  
"EEEW!"  
  
"EEEEEW!"  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWIIIIIIIIIIE!"  
  
"Okay, I didn't need to hear that," Rachel said, rubbing her forehead. "Anyone know what I could do?"  
  
Ross looked thoughtful. "I don't know what to do, but there's a new pediatrician in the area that just moved here from Norway. He might know what to do. I hear he was the best health expert in Norway."  
  
"Yeah, I heard that, too," Phoebe chimed in. "I wrote a song about him!"  
  
"Umm, I think you'd better not.."  
  
Phoebe picked up her guitar again, and yelled, "EVERYONE, LISTEN! I'M GONNA SING ANOTHER SONG!"  
  
Everyone in the coffee house groaned. One even left.  
  
"Here it goes!"  
  
Mr. Health guy is in the town  
  
And he wears a homemade baby-bottle crown  
  
He helps sick kids with the flu  
  
He is so great but he has not a clue  
  
If a kid throws up he knows what to do  
  
If he doesn't I'm not afraid to sue  
  
He has throat pops and sore back pills  
  
He may even have an evil pill that knows how to kill  
  
This guy has come here from far away Norway  
  
To help people visiting SoreBackSickWay  
  
He does not take a break until the job is done  
  
If he ever does I'll squeeze his bun."  
  
"You know, I gotta go look up that Norwegian doctor," Rachel said, quickly gathering her things.  
  
"I'll go with you, I think I remember his name," Ross said hastily, doing the same as Rachel and gathering his things.  
  
"Aupicin, I mean, I'm late for an audition," Joey cried, not wanting to hear another song.  
  
"HEY! EVERYONE, WAIT!" Phoebe yelled after them, and ran out the door. 


	3. An Idea

Business Cards: Chapter 3  
  
A/N: I'M SO SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG!!!  
  
I gotta warn you, this chapter is kind of boring and short, but you won't understand later chapters if you skip it. I know that this isn't the best story or anything, but it'll get better. I know exactly where I'm taking this story. Also, the long "EWIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" in the last chapter is because Joey ate Emma's puke thinking it was relish. (Stupid, I know, but.hehehehehehe..!) Now, on with the story!  
  
Rachel ran outside with Ross at her side. She stopped at a beautiful blue convertible with the cover up in front of Central Perk, took out a key, and opened the door and got in the driver's seat.  
  
Ross was hesitant. "RACHEL! This isn't your car, is it?!"  
  
Rachel started the car. "Yes it is Ross, now get in the dang car."  
  
"You don't have a renewed license," Ross debated. "Like I said a couple years ago, it's the DEATH SEAT!"  
  
Rachel closed her door. "Fine, stay here with Phoebe singing about flying pens."  
  
"Fine, fine," Ross said and got in the passenger seat. "Where did you get a car?"  
  
Rachel sped out onto Levard Street. "At Lanny's car lot in that small town a couple miles away. I've actually been saving money for a car since we were going out years ago. I got this car for only 5 g's!  
  
"Wow! This is a nice car!" Ross exclaimed, running his hand over the seat cover. "It's like new!"  
  
"Yeah it is. Where's that office with that German- I mean Norwegian- doctor?"  
  
Ross was tinkering with the flap-over mirror. "I think it's right off Main Street. RACHEL!!!" Ross yelled as Rachel swerved around an old black Buick.  
  
^_^_^_^  
  
"It's right here," Ross said. Rachel parallel parked in front of a very small building that read, "MOC Exchange".  
  
"What's that mean?" Rachel asked, reading the sign.  
  
Ross leaned over. "Members Only Club Exchange. It's specialty doctors that you can only see if you have a membership. I know, it's really out of the ordinary, but the doctors are great."  
  
"Well, okay. I'm going in."  
  
They got out of the car. "Okay, meet me in the waiting room in a half hour, Rachel. Here's my membership card- shut up Rachel! - I'm going into this shop right next store to get a new bottle for Emma."  
  
"Okay."  
  
^\________/^  
Ross was walking down the diaper isle, figuring he should get some other baby stuff while he was here, when he spotted a Geology Quiz Ultra CD Rom for Windows 98+ and went over to admire it.  
  
Ross went over and picked up the computer quiz game. He was checking the back when he looked at the software next to it: "Print Shop Deluxe Version 15".  
  
"Hmmm," Ross mumbled, picking it up too. 'For making cards, web pages, banners, business cards..'  
  
"Business cards?" Ross quoted, rereading it. "Hmmm. I just got an idea." 


	4. Pop! Goes the backbone

Business Cards: Chapter 4  
A/N: Thanks for reviewing, et cetera. THANK YOU!!! ^_^ Here's the FULL version of the 4th chapter. Enjoy!  
"So, how did it go?" Ross asked, sliding into the waiting room to find Rachel feeding Emma in one of those uncomfortable waiting chairs.  
  
"Oh, pretty good. That doctor said it was just a stage that about 25% of babies go through in the transaction from nonsolid to solid food. They just have to get accustomed to the new food."  
  
"Well, that's good."  
  
"Yeah. Let's go now." Rachel said, putting Emma in her 'Betty Carrier' and gathering her coat. "Hey, did you get the stuff?"  
  
Ross lifted up the bag. He had buried the software program under the diapers, toys, food, et cetera. "Yup. Plus, I got more food and a new stuffed toy, too."  
  
"Thanks, Ross," Rachel said as they walked out the door.  
  
Then Rachel slipped on the ice on the stairs and fell straight on her back.  
  
(((((()))))))  
  
Monica walked into her and Chandler's hotel room to find Chandler sitting in front of the TV watching The Osbournes. It was already 10:30 PM. She smiled. She knew this place in New Mexico would be perfect for a two-week vacation.  
  
Monica sat down on the chair next to her husband. "Funny show, huh?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
Just then, the phone rang. Monica went to answer it.  
  
"Hi, this is Monica Bing."  
  
"Hi, Monica." It was Ross.  
  
"Hey. You sound worried; what's up?"  
  
"Well."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Rachel slipped on some ice and fell straight on her back"  
  
"Oh my god, is she alright?" Monica went into automatic panic mode.  
  
"She broke her back and is in the hospital."  
  
Monica turned down the TV. "We're coming home."  
  
Chandler sat up at that statement. "What's wrong?"  
  
Monica was walking into her room to pack up already. "Rachel broke her back. We've gotta go. We'd do it for you and they would do it for me."  
  
"Awww." Chandler moaned as he sat up. "But it's so relaxing here. But I guess you're right." He followed her into the bedroom to pack.  
  
(((((((()))))))  
  
"Are you sure I should go? Nothing I could do?" Ross stroked Rachel's head.  
  
Rachel sighed. "No, there is nothing you can do. Please, you can just go home and take care of Emma."  
  
"Okay." Ross stood up and picked up Emma in her carrier. "I'll come back tomorrow to see how you're doing."  
  
"Okay. Thanks Ross."  
  
Ross shut the door behind him. **When Monica and Chandler get here, they can baby-sit Emma and I can go to the library to use my Print shop.**  
  
Ross was driving Rachel's car down main street, almost home, when he looked out the window at Central Perk. Monica and Chandler were drinking coffee, talking to Phoebe in the chair. Monica spotted Ross and rushed outside and urged Ross to open the window.  
  
"Is Rachel okay?" Monica sounded like she just found out she could never have a baby.  
  
"Well, not really, to tell the truth." Ross told them, turning off the radio. "She's hurt pretty bad, but she'll survive, of course."  
  
"Well, we knew that." Chandler joined the conversation.  
  
"Duh. Hey, can you guys watch Emma for an hour or two? I got some errands I have to do."  
  
"Well, of course," Monica put on her baby voice. "For my favorite niece and brother!" Monica said she had to 'practice' her youngster voice for when she had a baby.  
  
"Thanks. Can I pick her up in a few at your place?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Thanks." Ross rolled up the window while Monica picked up Emma. "See you later." He sped off toward the library.  
  
((((((((()))))))))  
  
Joey walked into Central Perk just as Ross turned the corner out of view. He took off his coat and hung it up before sitting on the couch next to Monica and Chandler, seeing if she could eat a piece of muffin. "Why do you got Emma? Wait, why are you HERE?"  
  
Monica looked up. "We came back when he heard Rachel was hurt. Ross had to run some errands while Rachel is in the hospital. I think he was heading toward the library." "Yeah." Joey's expression changed. "I sure hope she gets better."  
  
"Yeah, I can't believe this happened!" Phoebe chimed in. "I even wrote a song about it." She picked up her guitar.  
  
((A/N: Gotta make up going a chapter without a funny song! Don't worry, it's short. ))  
  
Joey sat back. "Phebs."  
  
Monica covered Emma's ears.  
  
Phoebe started singing:  
  
I My best friend got so dang hurt  
  
I had to do something so I blamed a clerk  
  
She broke her back by falling on ice  
  
I wonder if it was big ice or just a small slice  
  
Oh my gosh can you believe what is now  
  
I want some curing done, you stupid fat COWS!!  
  
EEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! /I  
  
Phoebe set down her guitar. Everyone was staring at her. She put on her evil eyebrows for just a second. "Hey, a girls gotta express herself!!"  
  
Everyone kept staring.  
  
Joey got up. "That was good, Phebes, but I'm gonna go find Ross. Gotta talk to him."  
  
Monica uncovered little Emma's ears. "Wanna try the muffin again?"  
  
A/N: Hey, not best chapter in the world, but I like it. I need another Review to keep me going! 


	5. Feelings

Business Cards: Chapter 5  
  
A/N: Hey, please review on this!  
  
Also, sorry for shortness!  
  
Joey walked into the library. He looked around for Ross. **Monica said he'd be here,** he thought, then spotted him just standing up over the computers with two sheets of paper in his hand. Joey walked over to him. "What's that?" He asked, looking at the papers.  
  
"They're business cards I just made on this program." He showed Joey the two different sheets of paper. "One of these sheets of paper contains twenty fake business cards. If someone I don't want to date asks me for my phone number, I give them one of the fake cards. They contain a fake phone number, and a fake email address. BUT, if I want to go out with them, I give them a real one."  
  
"SWEET!" Joey remarked. "Are you a genius or something? Are you a scientist?"  
  
Ross just rolled his eyes and followed him out the door. Joey turned to Ross once they were outside. "Er, you gotta help me."  
  
Ross was sort of taken aback. "What is it, Joe?"  
  
"Well, my feelings for Rachel are coming back now that we're living together again."  
  
Ross was searching his head for something, anything to say. "But Joey, you said that wasn't a problem anymore.."  
  
"It wasn't at first, but now, well."  
  
"I don't know what to say."  
  
"This is real."  
  
"Well, then you know what?" Ross said. "You gotta go for it." ********  
  
Joey walked into his and Rachel's apartment. Rachel was sitting at the counter doing her nails. Joey tried to look casual.  
  
"Wacha doin'?"  
  
"Just paiting my nails."  
  
"Oh,"  
  
"Why, do you need something?"  
  
"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me."  
  
Rachel was taken aback. "What?"  
  
Joey took a breath. **Just as good of a time as any to tell her,** he thought. "Look, Rachel, my love for you is coming back and I need to be with you."  
  
Rachel stared at him blankly, not knowing what to say, but knowing in her heart that she has the same feelings. **This is my chance** she thought, taking control of herself again, and leaned over the counter and kissed him.  
  
((((((()))))))  
  
Monica was feeding Emma. **Please don't puke on me!** She was thinking. So far it hasn't happened.  
  
Chandler walked in the door. He was holding a brochure in his hand and looked like a little boy on Christmas morning. "Mon! Look!" He plopped down beside her. "This place may be our answer! It's an hour away and it's an adoptive home with a great reputation."  
  
Monica got in her "Baby Vibe". She looks just as excited as Chandler. "Really?"  
  
"Well, yeah! Read this brochure! It says everything."  
  
Monica read over it very carefully. By the time she was done reading it, she was convinced. "I'm making an appointment to go there now." She picked up the phone. "This IS the place for us."  
  
ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, so sorry for not updating and how short this is! But I'm sort of losing the plot. Please review! 


	6. Doubt

A/N: Well, it's back. This old thing. Can't believe it....  
  
Well, this chapter will have a different feel and style to it. I left this story so long ago tell me )  
  
if I made any mistakes.  
  
AND JUST A NOTE, I KNOW MONICA AND CHANDLER ADOPTED, ROSS AND RACHEL ARE TOGETHER, ETC. ETC. WELL, I'M REWRITING IT, SORT OF.  
  
THIS IS MY STORY.  
  
However, I may work actual events into this... like crossing fiction to the story reality...  
  
NOW ONTO THE STORY!!!  
  
Rachel bent down to pick up her purse, only to look up and see the smiling face of her newfound lover and longtime friend, Joey.  
  
Something felt oh so right, but something felt oh so wrong...  
  
What is wrong with me? She thought she loved him. Ever since... that day he said... he loved her... she had been meaning  
  
to tell him that very same thing, but... now it was right, but also, it was wrong.  
  
Emma made a snort, and maybe that was it.  
  
My focus has changed  
  
But... why?  
  
Ross's face floated in her inner eye, and it wasn't a bad sight  
  
She shook her head.  
  
Why... am I thinking of Ross in this way?  
  
Rachel then realized how silly she looked. She straightened up as she tried to shake these mixed thoughts from her head.  
  
Joey asked if anything was wrong... she said, in her now-distant voice, "No..."  
  
What else could she say? She had been waiting, working, dreaming of this... it's JOEY...  
  
RrrOOOOOssssssSSSsss....  
  
The thought was haunting... but so right...  
  
How she thought she felt... of Joey...  
  
Chandler sat on the chair. They were now on the official waiting list for a baby... waiting... waiting...  
  
Waiting for a life...  
  
A life to enlighten theirs...  
  
To strengthen a spirit...  
  
To strengthen all their spirits...  
  
Monica will make a great mother.  
  
But what about him as a father?  
  
The doubt weighed his heart like a stone.  
  
But the thought, the assurance... made it dissinegrate...  
  
Forever...  
  
Or has it?  
  
The only thing forever is...  
  
Love.  
  
A/N: I know, this chapter isn't at all a grand renewance, but...  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!  
  
TELL ME what YOU THINK of this NEW WRITING STYLE!!  
  
Should I wrap up the story like this, or like I was doing it?  
  
If I do it like this it may take longer though... 


	7. Doubt v2

A/N: Since this story has and still is going INCREDIBLY slow, I will now REWRITE the last chapter... since it was hasty, and in a style that totally wasn't me, and it jumped around a bit. So...  
  
Here is chapter 6, v2. This new version will focus on Monica and Chandler, on the issue discussed on Chapter 6 v1, and the next will focus on Rachel and Joey's situation from that chapter.  
  
Tell me which one you like better...  
  
()()()SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS()()()  
  
Monica walked through the door to find Chandler waiting, as promised and expected. She was half crying, but wiped her eyes and wrapped her arms around her husband.  
  
"We're on the official waiting list."  
  
Chandler's worried expression changed completely as he stroked her back lovingly.  
  
"Oh my God, that's great!"  
  
"I know, can you believe this is finally happening?" Monica loosened her grip and gently drew out of the hug.   
  
"It's everything we've wanted..." Chandler was now gently crying himself. "We have to go tell everyone else."  
  
Monica looked worried and avoided her husband's gaze. "I think... we should wait."  
  
Chandler looked confused. "Why?"  
  
"Well..." Monica turned around and looked at her feet.  
  
"You know... with a baby... we will have to move."  
  
Chandler backed away. "We don't have money for that, Mon. And..."  
  
Monica turned to face him. "Did you check your bank account?"  
  
Chandler notched his head. "Yeah, we're almost broke."  
  
Monica looked worried. "I rented out an appartment close to a house I bid on..."  
  
Chandler backed away, tripping over an old lady's leg, falling on his butt. He quickly stood up and (unsuccessfully) tried to act calm. "Okay, first of all, you rented us out a new appartment?!"  
  
"Chandler-"  
  
"And you bid on a new house?!"  
  
"CHANDLER!!"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Monica calmed them both down.  
  
"If we move close to the house, moving into it won't be as hard. You know we will need to move."  
  
"But you said you just bid on it."  
  
"I did..." She paced back and forth. "...And yesterday I found out... we won. It is about 200 miles away from here, in the country."  
  
A/N: How did you like this version? REVIEW!!!! 


	8. What will happen? You tell me!

A/N: So Here's R/J problemactic. R&R!  
  
YOU CHOOSE THIS CHAPTER. TELL ME HOW YOU WANT IT TO GO! 


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